Fantasy - Mariah Carey

 

Oh, when you walk by every night

Talking sweet and looking fine

I get kind of hectic inside

Mmm, baby, I'm so into you

Darling, if you only knew

All the things that flow through my mind

But it's just a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby

Feels - Calvin Harris

And do you mind if I steal a kiss?

A little souvenir, can I steal it from you?

Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

 

Now I've got that feeling once again

I can't explain, you would not understand

This is (not) how I am

I have become comfortably numb

Today is a strange day. How is it possible that I feel everything and nothing at the same time? The day started out average enough, but the longer it went the sadder I felt. I've long made the decision to never suppress my emotions. I shall let my myself feel them, experience them as they come. But today I wonder if it came on it own or I beckoned for it to come. Either way, I welcomed it.  

Despite having many friends I can talk to, and who I know care for me, why is does it seem difficult to find comfort from someone? Is this loneliness? Some people will probably tell me I'm too independent and I should open myself up to pursue romantic relationships. But it's not romance I crave. It's mere connection, with someone, anyone, I can be vulnerable with. I guess maybe I'm tired of having to be strong and unwavering all the time. Always the one who is patient and understanding. The level-headed unemotional one. I don't know who to turn to. To God? Of course. If anything, these are the times when we have long one-on-one conversations. The answer I always receive has always been to remain steadfast. 

And I have. To the best of my ability. I have long since allowed fate to do what it wills to do. I have become comfortably numb. Or so I thought. If I actually still feel the sadness, I guess I'm not completely numb just yet.   

Moonlight - SB19

No, you don't wanna give me any reasons
Show me what to do, I'll keep it secret
We can't hide the feelings in between us
Just you and me, I'll never leave

 

Magnetic - ILLIT

 

거대한 자석이 된 것만 같아 my heart
네 모든 게 내 맘에 달라붙어버려, boy
We're magnetized, 인정할게
This time, I want...

Too Sweet - Hozier

You know, you're bright as the morning, 

as soft as the rain
Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape
If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait
Until that day

 

Kiss Me More - Doja Cat feat. SZA

We hug and, yes, we make love

And always just say, "Goodnight"

And we cuddle, sure, I do love it

But I need your lips on mine

Can you kiss me more?

We're so young, boy, we ain't got nothing to lose, oh-oh

It's just principle

Baby, hold me 'cause I like the way you groove, oh-oh

Dance To This - Troye Sivan

 

Seeing me spending every night with you

Yeah under the kitchen lights

You still look like dynamite 

And I wanna end up on you

Don’t need no place to go 

Just put on the radio

You know what I wanna do 

We can just dance to this

La La La Love Song - Toshinobu Kubota (久保田利伸)

 

息が止まるくらいの 甘いくちづけをしようよ
ひと言もいらないさ とびきりの今を
勇気をくれた君に 照れてる場合じゃないから
言葉よりも本気な la・la・la・la・la love song

Hype Boy - NewJeans

 

누가 내게 뭐래든 남들과는 달라 넌
Maybe you could be the one
날 믿어봐 한번 I'm not looking for just fun
Maybe I could be the one